It has been that kind of year for me. It started with promise and spluttered along for a few months and then just went I don’t know where . Can’t say it has been a bad year. Any year that you can see to the end must rate up there amongst the best . Can’t say I have had worse, the words “it will get better” spring to mind, I probably have, but they are far back in the place of no affect and little regard. The most out standing occurrence is I have actually got through to the end of this less than remarkable year.
For me the fight against the virus is over, not my willingness to fight against it, just my financial ability to do so. Survival is all that counts now. Finding the resources to provide for my family for an undefined period alludes me. I am no longer capable of work, it is also a bit of a moral kick in the pants how I have been treated by those at work . Discarded , consigned to the trash heap. If I was bothered to feel anything for the plebes who have back stabbed me so they can work over time and give me false plastic smiles and sly words that they want me back at work, which is a blatant lie. I would get a bit of satisfaction of dropping them in the mire . But they are not worth the spittle necessary for me to part my lips. Yes I am slightly miffed. But I OWE NO MAN ANYTHING and refuse to be put in that position .
So for me, any treatment has flown past it’s sale date. No work. no cash , no prospects. Next year can only be an improvement on this one. There was for a time a great sadness in me, but that has passed. Truly one is as alone as you make yourself. I needed to be alone , probably still do. So as it bumps to an end I have a lot to find next year , how much strength I have in me to move on and beyond.