Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I am not a muse.

Flu, something I haven't had in months. Reason, I haven't been anywhere . Guess what , the first weekends I go out what bites me. Yes , the flu. Not much that is encouraging has gone on lately. I find the simplest of tasks exhausting in the extreme. My clotting factors are on a seesaw, if I had been one to attend the haematology department of my health area , which I am supposed to do, I would probably be kept in , platelets are very low and my clotting factor IX non existent. Some relief is that the fluid retention issue has lessened off and my legs are more or less normal. As long as I don't stand for any period of time. It really sucks big time.

Well I am luckier than a lot of people and have many things to be thankful for. I am amongst a group of people who take me as I am.That is not an easy thing to achieve . I don't have to prove myself to them ,nor do I need to be in competition. I do find that often on the forums there is direct competition to be the most sickest. I would rather be the most healthiest, but will accept the state of health that I am in, living in itself is the only achievement I really want. The direct pressures on me are no different than most. Sick or healthy. The need to fund and provide  a home for my family , food on the table and clothes on their backs. Yes there are stresses which are not ones that are easily ignored . Keeping employed and finding the health to work. But one can only do what you can . Often I wonder who is stressing the most about this. My wife who worries about the future or myself ,threading my way between being ill and finding  the balance that allows me ,when able ,to actually physically work. I have personally stopped stressing about it, which drives my wife batty. I  haven't given up or in too Hcv, I can only do what I can when the moment arrives, stressing doesn't get me any where.

I have more or less stopped posting on the forums at the moment. I haven't changed my point of view about HCV treatment but have said all I have to say on the matter. Let's face it, a three time relapser who is supposed to have the easiest genome to beat is n't the best encouragement. Also I am, in affect, behind with the times , there are new protocols and different treatment schedules.Unfortunately they are at present not open for me, so I cannot comment on something I am not experienced with. Although I do keep informed.  Lets face it I have fallen off the bike and for now I'm not in the race, it is hard to keep up with those who are still doing the laps to the finishing point.

There is one bright ray of sunshine on the forums. There is more awareness of the virus in the general population. Those starting and receiving treatment are getting younger. Which means that there is more detection and activity in giving treatments. The older ones of us know that in previous years you had to be pretty stuffed before treatment was considered which is totally wrong. MORE PEOPLE ARE BEING TREATED BEFORE FIBROSIS OR CIHROSIS  sets in. Hooray for that. Brighter on the horizon is president Obama's  statement of intent to allow the use of foetal cells for research purposes. This is the way forward for medicine. Right or wrong only time will tell. But it is a path that needs to be followed though with. All moves forward are in a sense unnatural.The human beast in it's entirety is unnatural today. If it was left up to nature we wouldn't survive in direct competition.Naked, weak and prone to illness we would soon be driven to extinction by some natural predator. Probably one so small we cannot even see it. Lets face it we are even food for fungi. You are being lunched on even as you read. A living microcosm for microbes , worms, bacteria and virii. A constant battle ground of cells eating cells. Cells going mad and wanting to take over.
Cell research is definitely needed. As we are human it is pointless always using  animal studies all the time. Also the present human cell cultures allowed by license are now pretty far from the original ones due to the age  and the replication errors which come with successive generations. image013a

I can't but feel that some time in the past the original host of the hep virus had some sort of mutual symbiosis going on which was beneficial to both types of life. We must have altered that in some way. Life will fight to succeed for the future and I guess I can't begrudge the virus wanting to live it's a pity it is doing it in me.

The battle still goes on, I hope that refugees from my battle haven't managed to escape and gone on to fight in some one else. If they have then I hope they are puny little B's and are impotent .

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