Thursday, April 3, 2008

The final outcome.

There is a definite inevitability that comes with life and that is you will die. March 31  was the 1 year anniversary of my mothers death, friend of my youngest daughter was killed on his motor bike only 16.  A week ago today an old friend, my first in Sa, died  from liver cancer and on the first Tracy's best friends father died also from liver cancer. Today was also an end of a small but well loved life, my cockatiel succumbed to old age at least 25 years old. My aunt had inherited it when her mum in law died. When her Grandson was born it was passed on to me 21 years ago, the boy had allergy problems. A small life but no less precious, it's as if part of my married life has ended. It moved in when I got married and has been in my home ever since. Other pets have come and gone but that bird seemed immortal . I don't feel much different than that bird, caged just as much by society and the necessities of making a living and supporting a family. One ability it had which I will never achieve was to sing the morning in and the day out every day of it's life. Different sounds for different occasions and moods, it never failed to sing. If we went out it recognised the sound of my car or our return and it would be a full blown welcoming performance. I will miss it badly.
My daughters are both in that stage of life when they are pushing the boundaries of what I find acceptable, a natural occurrence, but I DON'T BEND, the wife does, so I am now the hated one. Well if they have to learn the hard way then at least I have tried to make things right for them. They are, I supposed ,spoilt and have always got what they wanted and needed. Maybe not always branded as they would like they have got reasonable quality.
Parents are never winners, they kids are lucky not to have had to go through what I did and I wouldn't want them too. I would have done a good job of raising them if after we pass on they can look back and see what we have given them and can realise that they are loved. But for now I am the mean and nasty monster who only does good when the schist hits the fan, if that is what it takes to keep them safe and on the right path then where are those horns.

No comments: