Sunday, March 9, 2008

The fear of life

If you tell the truth, you don' t have to remember anything.100_3196 African dawn, another day.5.30 AM my front gate.
:"War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left."Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.
*Experience is something you don' t get until just after you need it.*
It's  Sunday and as on most Sunday's it is a time that I have for my thoughts. I am extremely nervous at this moment ,after being off work quite a while I am returning tomorrow.  My problem is I can't handle personal weakness and I have become weak. The physical sides of TX are apparent, but the deeper underlying problems are hidden. Perseverance thru the treatment was fine, but the fear of failure in my work isn't. Being for a life time regarded as being non able bodied I have always gone that extra mile too show that I am as good as anyone. A go for it attitude and a willingness to try anything and the acceptance that I might fail, but still putting in the effort has got me too 51. Confidence was the secret and that has ran away and is still running. What is the secret to regaining your confidence. Sickness and pain I can handle but with this I am clueless. Any suggestions? When did it happen that even though I have no fear of death I became afraid of life.....

1 comment:

Starbux said...

hey colin

noticed you not been around in forumland lately. you never just made up the numbers! hope you are ok. glad you crossed the finish line. would be nice to see you around again.