Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Back wards thru a looking glass darkly.

Some will know from where the above was taken. But it suits my present mood,if not in sense of the original it describes my present feelings.Those pwh sufferers will have an understanding of how things go. Often the major bleeding episodes are the easiest to recover from. The small niggly, messy one which lingers are all the more draining. I have had a life time of kidney bleeds, occasional stomach bleeds and continuous oral and throat bleeds. These are to the most part only a nuisance, smelly if in the throat, not a question of oral hygiene just a fact of blood being continuously present. My hg is low and it is not really doing anything towards improving, but in 3 weeks my treatment is over. Recently I received a piece of news which I don't want to share just yet, it may eventually have it's airing but there is no point in  doing so now. Earlier on today I posted I will not recant as it is how I felt and still do to an extent just to tired of life at the present to battle. Even I can feel shat on and tired of battling, I'm tired that the years are passing, I haven't achieved or done anything but tread water and survive. A year has almost passed since my mother died and I've done nothing since then to make it  any less the main point of this year. I can only reflect back past these latest years, it feels that I've been swimming in quick sand. Slowly and imperceptibly I am sinking deeper. Smile the cosmic joker is pulling the strings.

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